I decided to start this blog to help me with my weight loss. I figured the best way for me to start would be to lay out how I ended up where I am today.
I've been overweight for most of my life. My first memory of being overweight was when I was in grade 6. I remember the other girls at school teasing me. I have vivid memories of me standing on the bathroom scale and crying over the numbers I saw there. I wanted to be pencil thin like the other girls in my class. That's when my life of dieting began.
For almost every important moment of my life, I can remember the number I saw on the scale. When I graduated from high school I weighed 180. In my second year of university, I jumped up to 220. When I moved out of my parents house I weighed 255. When I got married I weighed 268. When I got pregnant I weighed 270. The highest weight I ever saw on the scale was 311. But that was when I was pregnant.
I've lost so much weight on every diet I've tried. But I always gain it back and then some.
I think all the dieting I did has lead me to this point. As of this morning, I weigh 290 pounds. That's not my all time high, but it's darn close. I always start off diets with the best of intentions and I usually do pretty well for a month or two. But then something always happens to throw me off. And when I fall off the dieting wagon, I fall hard. I binge myself on sweets and I overeat. Then all the hard work I did is gone. Then I'm even more depressed than I was to begin with.
I'm trying something different this time. I'm going to track everything I eat and the amount of water I drink. Having it written down should help me be more conscious of what I'm eating. I've been too quick in the past to just shove the food in my mouth without thinking about what I'm doing. I'm also hoping that this blog will help me. Maybe being able to put my feelings down somewhere will help stop be from trying to drown my sorrows with food.
This time I'm technically not dieting. I decided, after years of experience, that dieting is not the way to lose weight. I need a lifestyle change. So I've come up with a balanced, healthy diet that I'm going to combine with exercise. I need to have a healthy lifestyle, not only for myself, but for my son. I don't want him to have the same bad habits I have.
I don't feel like I can talk to anyone in my family about my weight problem. They wouldn't understand. Everyone in my family is thin. I'm the black sheep in that regard. I don't know why I've been struggling with food. My hope is that by venting here, I'll be able to see a pattern to what I'm doing.
This is the start of my Journey to the Thin Side. :)
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4 comments:
Good luck on your journey, Im on a similar one and I know how hard it is. Keep writing.
Hi! Your story so reminds me of myself. I've been overweight all of my life. I remember weight milestones, and unfortunately they all trend upward too. This time around, I'm not thinking an ounce about the past. It's all about today. My saying is TODAY IS THE FIRST DAY OF ME! And it is. Take it day by day by day by day. I know it sounds cliche, but it's true. i can't even change what happened five minutes ago, much less what happened years ago. But I can change what's happening right now, and so can you!!!
--SexyRevealed from 3FC
I can't stress enough how important it is to write down everything you eat...even on the days that you feel that you've totally blown it! It is just too easy to forget something here and something there - and when you're tracking your food it's amazing how all those little "forgotten" items add up! You've taken a giant step in the right direction by deciding to keep a food journal.
Good luck on your weight loss journey! I can't wait to see less of you!! :)
Melissa - 3FC's
Good luck, you'll find we all have a very similiar history of the vicious dieting cycle. Continue using 3FC for support day or night, someone is always there! I also think journaling your food is a fantastic idea.
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